Vice President Biden ditched a day of presiding over the Senate to “give the twin cannons some sun.” (great photo and caption from The Onion)

Vice President Biden ditched a day of presiding over the Senate to “give the twin cannons some sun.”

(great photo and caption from The Onion)

People have a very weird perception of large numbers. If you have 2,000 cases of flu in a country of 300 million, most people think they’re going to be one of the 2,000, not one of the 299,998,000. —

Predicting Flu With the Aid of (George) Washington

See also: Lottery paradox

illinoisairship: Any girl can be pretty, but for true pants-tightening appeal there has to be something working against you just a little bit. It could be a scar you got when you were little, braces or a mole right off center of your nose- that’s what will make you memorable to dudes. Otherwise, it’s two guys trying and failing to describe you like “Hey do you remember that cute girl from last night?” Which one? “Uh, she had brown hair, a white t-shirt and um… yeah. I’m hungry.” That’s why you got to put those supposed flaws front and center and rock that shit. You’ve got a back brace? Rock it. Chipped tooth? It makes you brassy. Fake leg? Don’t stress. If Paul McCartney got down, someone else will too. I used to date this girl in high school who had a mild case of tourettes. It wasn’t like she yelled out “cockshitfuckassmotherfucker” at restaurants, but every now and then she’d let out a quiet and almost imperceptible “Mhmph.” Man, that shit used to drive me wild. Imperfection is where it’s at.

illinoisairship:

Any girl can be pretty, but for true pants-tightening appeal there has to be something working against you just a little bit. It could be a scar you got when you were little, braces or a mole right off center of your nose- that’s what will make you memorable to dudes. Otherwise, it’s two guys trying and failing to describe you like “Hey do you remember that cute girl from last night?” Which one? “Uh, she had brown hair, a white t-shirt and um… yeah. I’m hungry.” That’s why you got to put those supposed flaws front and center and rock that shit. You’ve got a back brace? Rock it. Chipped tooth? It makes you brassy. Fake leg? Don’t stress. If Paul McCartney got down, someone else will too.

I used to date this girl in high school who had a mild case of tourettes. It wasn’t like she yelled out “cockshitfuckassmotherfucker” at restaurants, but every now and then she’d let out a quiet and almost imperceptible “Mhmph.” Man, that shit used to drive me wild. Imperfection is where it’s at.

illinoisairship
This is also an accurate diagram of reblogging. Stop doing it, people! Social distancing!

This is also an accurate diagram of reblogging. Stop doing it, people! Social distancing!

I figured out I went the wrong route. So I got with a sick tight clique and went all out. —Arlen Specter to join the Wu-Tang Clan
Hah, yeah that’s funny and totally sexy except for that whole part about the white wicker furniture set. Have you gone shopping anywhere besides Montgomery Ward in 1985?

Hah, yeah that’s funny and totally sexy except for that whole part about the white wicker furniture set. Have you gone shopping anywhere besides Montgomery Ward in 1985?

Oh, you know, the usual Monday night.

Oh, you know, the usual Monday night.

Me and Kareem are gearing up to exact some revenge on Kari for slandering this great man’s name. Put on your infrared targets, Williamsburg.

Me and Kareem are gearing up to exact some revenge on Kari for slandering this great man’s name. Put on your infrared targets, Williamsburg.

tofuttibreak

Hipster Hip Hop Timeline

caseydonahue:

1982
Lil Wayne Born

1983-1987
Nothing of consequence happens

[…]

2007
A record number of black people (5) show up to the Pitchfork Music Festival. They are cordial and honor most people’s requests to take pictures with them.

caseydonahue
Could someone quick make a Greasemonkey script to replace all Tumblr hearts and Twitter stars with these? TIA.

Could someone quick make a Greasemonkey script to replace all Tumblr hearts and Twitter stars with these? TIA.

ffffound
dogs-looking-like-people: hey it looks like you have some leftover steak there what are you going to do with that because i have some ideas

dogs-looking-like-people:

hey it looks like you have some leftover steak there what are you going to do with that because i have some ideas

dogs-looking-like-people
A rare, undocumented moment of N.W.A post-“arriving at the fort”, but pre-“sweatin’ all the bitches in the biker shorts”.

A rare, undocumented moment of N.W.A post-“arriving at the fort”, but pre-“sweatin’ all the bitches in the biker shorts”.

deleteyourself
kevin