Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint letter?
“By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it’s baffling presentation: [see image 4, above].
It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.”
I already can’t wait for 2010 when the mean center of the United States hits Branson (The Vegas of the South) and Yakov Smirnoff gets the free promotion he so deserves.
Filling the void
Seeing as there weren’t enough Tumblr blogs putting up pretentious music and linking to pretty pictures, I decided to start my own.
Songs You Should Know About is where I will post a song a day from my vast archives, with the only premise being exactly what it says on the box.
You Look Marvelous is where I post pretty pictures that don’t fit in with the same comedic stylings and utter awesomeness of this blog.
Enjoy?
If you serve us, do we not volley? If you ace us, do we not rally? And if you lob us, shall we not smash?
You ain’t got to explain shit, I’ve been robbin’ motherfuckers since the slave ships.
Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it. —Frank Kelly Rich, The 86 Rules of Boozing
What Would Omar Do? (Andrea Stanislav, 2009)
Nut allergies: a Yuppie invention
But unless you’re a character on “Heroes,” genes don’t mutate fast enough to have caused an 18% increase in childhood food allergies between 1997 and 2007. And genes certainly don’t cause 25% of parents to believe that their kids have food allergies, when 4% do. Yuppiedom does.
Someone get Steven Berlin Johnson on this, pronto!
Don’t let some 3-year old girl or someone who hasn’t seen it tell you how Star Wars goes; leave that job to Nick Winters.
Have over 1000 followers on Twitter —Janis Krums, the guy who twittered and took the first good close-up photo of the Hudson River plane crash from a rescue ferry, unwittingly got one of his New Year’s resolutions done in 15 days.
