Star of the movie “Douchequin”. About a mannequin at an Ed Hardy store who comes to life at night to hit on girls online and talk on his Bluetooth.
I can see it already: The roles are reversed, so a lonely stockgirl kisses the mannequin and it comes to life, and spends the rest of the movie relentlessly hitting on the poor girl because he figured she made the first move. (Mannequin 3: On the Douche?)
Tumblarity IRL
They finally made a product to use for when you accidentally touch an Ed Hardy shirt.
McSweeney's Lists: I Came Here to Do Two Things: _______ and Kick Ass. And I'm _______.
get these pants altered; surprised at how many people are already here at 10:30 in the morning
This is all bullshit!
Just look at it. Look at all this bullshit. I mean, I have seen some bullshit, and this - this is bullshit. Have you ever seen so much bullshit? I mean seriously, looking back at your life and all of its bullshit, how does it compare to this bullshit? This is like boiled down bullshit. And pure, too, like if there was bullshit juice from concentrate, this is what you would add water to in order to make that bullshit juice. Bullshit scientists use this bullshit to calibrate their instruments. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of the needle breaking on the bullshit-o-meter. In the dictionary next to “bullshit” there’s a picture of this - not like a photograph, but a drawing, because even the dictionary can’t handle this level of literalism. This is some serious bullshit.
I see what you’re doing there aka wasting that $10,000 weekly retainer I’m paying my SEO Optimization Ninja.
Oh look, kids. It’s Dane Cook, Jeremy Piven, and Kid Rock indicating how many dead hookers they have stashed in their Hummers.
I suppose only one question remains — who should be the fourth man on Mount Douchemore?
(via your new favorite Tumblr, Keggers of Yore)
Was The State way ahead of it’s time, or were we just so far behind and didn’t even know it?
I watched this movie recently, and I really enjoyed it. It was weird, for sure, but weird in a good way.
If you don’t watch this movie soon, your life will spin into complete chay-os.
Go home, Corey Hart.
