The Triumph of Bullshit

Photo

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:14:18 -0700

pilnick: Bizarre, I was using that exact grill two weeks ago....

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:22:52 -0700

pilnick:

Bizarre, I was using that exact grill two weeks ago. (via alaskamiller)

Bizarre, I shat on that exact grill three weeks ago.

Wait, wait! I too have a hilarious, and yet no doubt original,...

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:41:00 -0700

Wait, wait! I too have a hilarious, and yet no doubt original, comment on this cliché I saw recently, which, because I had not seen before and means you have not, need to hear.

(Actually, I shouldn’t snark. I’m just grateful that Ed’s place is still in business, given the economy, and ever since that big box paddle shop SuperstOAR opened up the next town over.)

Codes of the City

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:01:37 -0700

sexpigeon:

Baby stroller in apartment building lobby: Cocaine wholesaler.

Pile of Q-tips: Hmong turf.

Broken suitcase: Dead dad.

Discarded bike lock: Unlicensed dentist.

Overturned recycling bin: Popular brunch spot nearby.

Wig in gutter: Seafood restaurant.

Chair next to lamppost: Housepainters live here.

Pair of shoes, side-by-side: This way to haircuts.

Pair of shoes, toes pointed towards each other: Safe to poo between these cars.

Pair of shoes, toes pointed away from each other: Do not poo between these cars.

Single shoe: Abortionist.

Blood-covered ATM: Notary public inside.

Hamburger on streetcar seat: Party at the beach.

Box of books: Domestic dispute, call 911.

The movie combo game

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:33:39 -0700

ilikemax:

mercurypdx:

nickdouglas:

I describe a film plot based on two movies.

You tell me the combined title.

For example: Plot: suburban family gets mad at a hairy mountain-beast for satirizing them in his roman-a-clef.

Title: Deconstructing Harry and the Hendersons.

So reblog or comment with an answer to the following, but ONLY if you write your own too.

Plot: A conman accidentally teaches an Austrian family about the joys of song. But soon after they form a marching band and perform to a wildly appreciative audience, they’re forced to flee the country.

The Sound of Music Man?

PLOT: A newly engaged couple, whoose car breaks down in an isolated area, come upon a strange residence where they seek aid from a nerdish florist and his giant man-eating plant who demands to be fed.

Answer: Little shop of Rocky Horror Picture show

My post: Two pot smoking half-wits from New Jersey travel back in time to stop hollywood from making a movie about their comic book character personas.

Answer: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back to the Future

New plot: A delusional young man buys a life-size sex doll over the Internet, and falls in love with her. The family intervenes by sending the doll to a mental institution after an apparent suicide attempt, where she befriends the other patients and battles her personal demons.

Spiral illusion You see embedded spirals, right, of green,...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:52:00 -0700

Spiral illusion

You see embedded spirals, right, of green, pinkish-orange, and blue? Incredibly, the green and the blue spirals are the same color. The reason they look different colors is because our brain judges the color of an object by comparing it to surrounding colors.

In this case, the stripes are not continuous as they appear at first glance. The orange stripes go through the “green” spiral but not the “blue” one. So without us even knowing it, our brains compare that spiral to the orange stripes, forcing it to think the spiral is green. The magenta stripes make the other part of the spiral look blue, even though they are exactly the same color.

Photo

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:47:49 -0700

Area code shirts Would love to represent the 612, but it...

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:05:00 -0700

Area code shirts

Would love to represent the 612, but it doesn’t exist yet. I expect this site to get flooded instantly with requests for basically every area code (in which I have ho’s).

DICK BONG

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:55:00 -0700

delgrosso:

Actually, that’s Major Dick Bong to you, buster.

I’ve driven over the Dick Bong Bridge and passed the Dick Bong Recreation Area so many times, I wondered how they possibly kept up with replacing the amount of road signs that were probably stolen by UMD students. I was pretty sure it’s a full-time job.

mrgan: God I love Steve.

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:35:19 -0700

mrgan:

God I love Steve.

The Book Seer

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:28:19 -0700

The Book Seer

Random sampling

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:19:27 -0700

gordonshumway:

I did this a couple of months ago, but my music collection changes more often than my hair color because I’m constantly dragging and dropping things between my Macbook and my external hard drive, so I thought I’d do it again.

Also, what better way to procrastinate than by plundering my iTunes library?

Number of Songs: 22,291
Number of Albums: 5,613
Most Recently Played Song: Dinah Washington - Is You Is, or Is You Ain’t My Baby?
Most Played Song: Mannie Fresh - We Fresh
Most Recently Added Album: The Mighty Underdogs - Droppin’ Science Fiction

First Song Alphabetically: Hey Mercedes - A-List Actress
Last Song Alphabetically: Rye Coalition - ZZ Topless
Smallest Song Numerically: GZA - 0% Finance
Biggest Song Numerically: Part Chimp - 30,000,000,000,000,000 People [that’s 30 gabillion, btw]

Shortest Song: DS-13 - The Ballad of Bob Flanagan (0:05)
(2nd Shortest Song): S.O.D. - The Ballad of Jimi Hendrix (0:06)
Longest Song: C Average - Prolock (The Protector) (45:23)

First Album Alphabetically: Blackalicious - A2G
Last Album Alphabetically: Skull Kontrol - ZZZZZZ…
First Album Numerically: The Delta 72 - 000
Last Album Numerically: Yes - 90125

First Five Songs That Pop Up On Shuffle:
Stetsasonic - Go Stetsa I
Saviours - Exalter of Thorns
Black Sabbath - Electric Funeral
The Undertones - Family Entertainment
The Recoys - That’s the Punchline

Now I fully expect everyone else to do this as well. REBLOG IT! REBLOG LIKE THE WIND.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:17:09 -0700

A Modest Proposal

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:02:00 -0700

funsizebytes:

I put a DVD into the player

I start a stopwatch

I navigate all the menus

I wait for all the various “advertisements” telling me about the sound mastering, the FBI warning, and so forth

The movie actually begins

I stop the stopwatch.

I take that stopwatch to the home of some executive connected with the MPAA and count off those seconds.

While holding his (or her—I’m all about equal opportunity, people) head under water.

I’m just saying, it might lead to some change.

deleteyourself: Revolutionary Iranian women, risking their life...

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 10:48:59 -0700

deleteyourself:

Revolutionary Iranian women, risking their life to post about the protests on Twitter, meet Google contextual ads (Link)

Ukulele: Warren Buffett, chairman of the board and CEO of...

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:28:00 -0700

Ukulele: Warren Buffett, chairman of the board and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, 78

How awesome would it be if Warren Buffett starting posting YouTube videos of him playing the ukelele? Or if he did the YLNT song?

(from this coulda been interesting but is actually kinda lame series on hobbies in Forbes)

ilikemypresidentlikeilikemycoffee.com

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:50:14 -0700

ilikemypresidentlikeilikemycoffee.com

Photo

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:54:58 -0700

Happy sad slasher day!

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 11:34:13 -0700

Happy sad slasher day!

Big Jim Slade Mug Exquisite Ceramic Mug inspired by the film...

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 00:08:28 -0700

Big Jim Slade Mug

Exquisite Ceramic Mug inspired by the film ‘Kentucky Fried Movie’, depicting Big Jim Slade in all his glory with the phrase “In the event of premature ejaculation, the Joy of Sex album comes with BIG JIM SLADE!” painted on opposite side. On the inside of the mug you’ll find the words “And the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln.”